Depression, Fatherhood, Parenting, Relationships

miscarriage grief - not for women onlyMiscarriage Grief: Not for Women Only

Dear Mr. Dad: Just after our first trimester, my wife and I lost our baby. I’ve been focusing on being there for her and supporting her every way I can. But this miscarriage has hit me pretty hard too and I’m having a tough time coping. Part of the problem is that I feel guilty about having feelings at all—after all, she’s the one who had the miscarriage. And anyway, there’s really no one for me to talk to about it. Am I alone in feeling this way?

A: You’re definitely not alone. People tend to think of miscarriage (and just about everything else associated with pregnancy) as affecting only women. But that’s simply not true. Although we men don’t have to endure the physical pain, there’s no question that emotionally, the experience of losing a baby is very much the same. Like our pregnant partner, we have fantasies and dreams and hopes for our unborn child. And, like our pregnant partner, when a pregnancy ends prematurely, most of us are hit with profound feelings of sadness. Many also feel guilty and/or inadequate, as if there was something we could have or should have done to prevent the tragedy.

The biggest difference between men’s and women’s experience is the way we express our grief. Women are much more comfortable grieving openly. They talk to—and get support from—family, friends, and others. Guys, true to stereotype, tend to keep our feelings to ourselves and are very reluctant to discuss them with anyone—especially those closest to us. You captured that perfectly when you wrote that you “feel guilty about having feelings at all.”


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Photo by Jon Flobrant on Unsplash


clinical trialWith Clinical Trials, People Can Get New Treatments Not Available to Others

Besides testing treatments, research studies help doctors understand conditions so they can help future patients

For over four years Jessica Donlon, 17, suffered from depression that was so severe, she had difficulty getting out of bed. She gave up cheerleading and softball, spending much of her time sleeping. She tried many kinds of medications and therapies, but her depression was getting worse. “She suffered degrees of not wanting to live, but it was getting stronger and more frequent,” says her mom, Theresa Roy.

Theresa heard about a clinical trial using ketamine— a medication often used as an anesthetic in children—to treat severe depression, and she thought it might help her daughter. Earlier studies at Yale and elsewhere have shown that ketamine can provide rapid and dramatic relief for depression in adults. “Suicide is the second leading cause of death in adolescents, and while there are some effective treatments, a substantial proportion of adolescents don’t respond to those treatments,” notes psychiatrist Michael Bloch, MD, MS, associate professor in the Yale Child Study Center, who led the clinical trial.

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aarp financial security is possibleRetirement Doesn’t Have to be Scary

When we’re young and agile, most of us look forward to starting a family, buying a nice car, buying a house and making it into a home. Then as we age, we invest money, time, and energy in our kids, our careers, and our social lives. That’s all pretty normal, but when’s the right time to start saving money for retirement? Many of us look at retirement as a big, daunting task. But, if you start early and start smart, you can look forward to retirement as much as you looked forward to the other seasons of your life. As dads (and parents in general), we focus so much on everyone else that we often put ourselves last. Anyone who’s scrimped and saved for holiday shopping or stayed up late wrapping presents or baking cookies knows what I’m talking about.
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Anxiety, Cardio, Depression

benefits of meditationFive Amazing Benefits of Meditation and Mindfulness

While ultimately rooted in the religious practices of East Asia, meditation and mindfulness are essentially the cultivation of a positive and tranquil mental state via focused periods of practice. Just as your body needs nutrition and exercise to function properly, so too does your emotional center and state of mind require special tools for their maintenance. While their origins lie in theology and spiritual study, both meditation and mindfulness have been linked to measurable benefits for adults regardless of their metaphysical or philosophical inclinations.

Reduced Anxiety

One of the key concepts to meditation is its understanding of the relationship between the physical body and its more ephemeral moods and processes. As exemplified by the concept of chakras (see the chakra chart here for more information), emotional and spiritual states are linked to physical centers of the body and real biological processes, a fact supported by meditation and mindfulness’ impact on anxiety.

While it varies by individual, mindfulness reduces anxiety in patients in as little as eight weeks of practice. This not only includes the mental aspects of anxiety, but also physically measurable symptoms like blood pressure, quality of sleep, jaw clenching, and chronic headaches. This further shows the link between the emotional or spiritual states meditation attempts to treat and their physical manifestations.

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Cardio, Fitness, Health, Health, Nutrition

8 Ways to Stay Healthy While Travelling

Holidays are one of those times of the year when your health or fitness plans can take a real dent. It’s natural that you’ll want to relax, take part in activities that you enjoy the most—which might include sitting and eating a lot—and generally not doing a great deal. So while you might not make any fitness progress it’s important to make sure that you don’t get derailed entirely and face setbacks for months to come.


The first challenge you will face when traveling is the flight, flying is notoriously dehydrating, and the longer you’re in the air the worse it gets. Arriving dehydrated at your destination isn’t a great start as well as actually making you sick, it can make you feel pretty lousy and increase hunger. It’s not a great start to staying healthy so make sure you drink at every chance you get on the flight, and we’re not talking about alcohol here.

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