Talking About Men's Health™

As a follow up to last week’s post The Importance of Father-Son Proximity and Initiation into the Masculine Culture I wanted to use a a classic novel to demonstrate the recurrent theme of the absent father causing sons to try to “fly above” the father in United States’ culture.  As mentioned last week, the themes to be discussed are ideas from Robert Bly’s book Iron John: A Book About Men suggested to me and discussed with my friend Will Stewart.  I will attempt to introduce two new concepts: Shame and ashes. Continue Reading

Friday after Thanksgiving was a lazy, windy, cold and gray day in Washington, D.C.  I nearly forgot I had scheduled to meet a friend because he had expressed an interest in getting involved in men’s health issues.  I got to our meeting place early, grabbed a hot chocolate to warm up, and a Wall Street Journal.  Below the fold on the front page of the Journal was a story, “Dad, What Do You Do at Work? I’m a Leader in Active Safety”.  “Must be a slow news day,” I thought.  The article has a couple of lines that gave me a wry smile.  The author, James Hagerty, lists one company’s description of itself as “‘the global leader in active and passive safety’—or what the rest of us might call brakes and safety belts.”  The article basically analyzes the vague semantics used to describe what corporations do.  “Slow news day,” I thought again and moved on to North Korea. Continue Reading

When you reflect on what it means to be a Man, you probably think in much the same way as generations of men have before you.  The tough Western cowboy, the dutiful soldier, or the heroic fireman. Chances are you don’t consider Adam Sandler’s Billy Madison, Seth McFarlane’s Peter Griffin, or any of the current crop of male TV sitcom characters to be pillars of Masculinity.  Yet while the stoic, focused, and responsible male archetype has persisted for generations, it seems that at no other point in our history has the reality deviated so sharply from the ideal.

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Imagine this: a father pushing his child in a stroller, fulfilling his duties as a father, seen as attractive and potentially “the new kind of manly.”  Author Katrin Bennhold describes this new definition of masculinity in her article, “In Sweden, Men Can Have It All,” as a “most striking example of social engineering.”  Ms. Bennhold chronicles the country’s progressive policies that currently provide men with up to two months paternity leave, roughly 15% of the time allotted for women.  Currently, the elections in September could possibly grant more time off for fathers. Continue Reading

At some point not long after the baby is born, just about every new father gets hit with a sharp jolt of reality: he’s a father–with new responsibilities, new pressures, new expectations to live up to. For some of us, this seemingly basic little epiphany comes early, before we leave the hospital. But for others, reality may not hit for a few days. Sooner or later, though, we all come to realize that our lives have changed forever. Sometimes the changes are subtle, sometimes not so subtle. But they’re almost always surprising.

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Passivity in men has been one of the least studied, discussed, and explained aspects of masculine psychology. Understanding passivity is an essential and important key to creating healthy relationships, increasing self-esteem and healing the bodies, minds, and spirits of men who are hurting or hurting others. Continue Reading