I’m an angry male. O.K., I’ve said it. There is a lot to be angry about. Gun violence continues. Too many of our children live in poverty. Our environment is deteriorating. We are heating the planet beyond its capacity to support human life. Our country is divided. The political system is broken. Families are falling...Continue reading
There is a saying that we teach what we want to learn. I suspect it may be equally true that we write about issues most important in our lives. I grew up as an only child in a single parent-family. My father was gone by the time I was five years old. My mother had...Continue reading
Facing a condition such as bipolar disorder can be frightening. However, for one Yale Medicine patient, healing has happened through a range of personal connections. In his cooking classes, Bob Forlano likes to make dal, the Indian dish with red lentils, celery, onion, garlic, thyme and cumin. “And since I’m a steak-and-potatoes guy,” he says, “I...Continue reading
We were planning to celebrate my 13th birthday with a dinner at my special restaurant, The Pump Room, which served my favorite dessert, a strawberry short-cake with homemade whipped cream. But the celebration was interrupted with a phone call from my uncle, Harry. “Edith, Muni escaped from Camarillo today,” uncle Harry told her. I could hear his anxiety...Continue reading
Men are well-known for not looking after themselves and their health. While women will typically go to the doctor when they notice signs that something might be wrong, many men are capable of putting things off for years with the result that minor health problems often turn into something much more serious and potentially life-threatening...Continue reading
I’ve been helping men and the women who love them for more than 40 years. When I ask men what’s most important to them in their relationships, I hear many variations on a simple response. Men want more sex and fewer fights. When I ask women what they want they also give offer variations that...Continue reading
“If menopause is the silent passage,” says author Gail Sheehy, “Male menopause is the unspeakable passage. It is fraught with secrecy, shame, and denial. It is much more fundamental than the ending of the fertile period of a woman’s life, because it strikes at the core of what it is to be a man.” When...Continue reading
I have a particular interest in preventing mid-life marriage meltdown, a problem that is becoming I increasingly prevalent today. My first marriage came to an end when I was 33 years old. We had two children and had thought our marriage would last forever. I healed the wounds of love and loss and eventually fell...Continue reading
My aspiration is to clearly see and courageously confront concerns appearing for me (and other 40+ guys, too) at the mid-life point and beyond. Concerns about staying physically vital. About not looking “old.” About warding off maladies that lurk in the shadows. Among all concerns, perhaps the biggest is the most subconscious and hardest to recognize: At or beyond life’s halfway marker, we’re uncertain what our life ultimately will have meant. This “Meaning of Life” concern is caricatured as the midlife crisis and the sports car in response. But in reality, it can be more of an awakening, a broadening of vision and spirit, a healthy challenge, and an opportunity. Intensifying your focus on fitness, nutrition and overall wellness — doubling down on overall body-and-soul health — helps maximize this opportunity and achieve whatever your definition of "Meaning" is.Continue reading
For more than 40 years, I’ve been helping men better understand women so they can have more sex and love and fewer fights and tensions. It’s said that we teach what we want to learn and I’ll admit I’m still learning about the wonderful creatures we call women and how to have passionate, peaceful, and...Continue reading