Dear Mr. Dad: My daughter is in 7th grade has been coming home with stories about her classmates using the most bigoted and hateful language about other students and other people in general. Peer pressure is a big thing in middle school and we’re afraid that she’s going to pick up some of these attitudes. What can we do?
A: Having already elected a mixed-race president, it’s tempting to think that we’re in a “post-racial” society. Sadly, that’s anything but true. Prejudice—in all sorts of forms—is still all around us.
And, as you’ve noticed, it starts young. Before they’re three, children are already aware of gender, names, and a few other differences, and they start absorbing their parents’ attitudes even earlier. By six they’re very conscious of weight, skin color, athletic and academic abilities, glasses, wardrobe, religion, culture, and just about anything else that makes people different. Of course, being aware of differences isn’t a bad thing—in fact, it’s perfectly normal. That awareness becomes a problem only when people use those differences as weapons, to divide others into “us” and “them,” “good” and “bad.”
Fortunately, there’s still plenty to do to keep your daughter headed in the right direction.
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